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This week, I feel like being cohesive. So I'm going to run in a straight line from my topic last week. I hope you don't mind.

At 16, I already felt jaded by the world. I'd seen too much, done too much, been too many places I wasn't supposed to go. It seemed to me that all the surprises of the world had already been unceremoniously dumped in my lap, and all there was left to do was wallow in my loneliness. Little did I know.

The interesting thing about this line of thought is that I wasn't alone, not even for a minute. After Miles (you all remember Miles, right?) I met Brittany, a beautiful redheaded fireball whom I fell swiftly in love with, and when she moved out of my life, literally, I met Derek, an equally beautiful dark-haired boy of 16, with charm and charisma to spare. They took up that year of my life, although I don't necessarily remember much outside of a few blurred memories. I thought I loved them - that goes without saying but I'm saying it. Little did I know.

Of course, then there was Charlie. Now there is Charlie. There will always be Charlie. Together we have done the things that I never imagined I would do, lived a life I never in my wildest dreamed thought I would call mine.

We made life.

Have you ever met someone and knew - knew - in the depths of your soul that they were special? That your whole life would revolve around them in ways you never expected?

I have.

His eyes are blue. I look into those eyes everyday but if I never saw them again I'd be looking still. They're blue, and they're shaped like mine.

His hands - beautiful, clever little hands - grasp at my fingers with my fingers and his little feet stomp the floor just like my husband's. I thought that maybe time would make it easier to forget these things, to take them for granted, but it seems that time has only made them more potent.

Every day for me is mundane, routine, frustrating, and completely, utterly beautiful. I am constantly overwhelmed by mixed emotions - am I mad at you because you just broke that toy or in love with you because you smile at me with your father's smile? Am I frustrated by your stubbornness or laughing inside, knowing that you got it from me?

These moments - everyday occurrences, part of the flow of life - give my life a beauty and depth I never knew it could have. This, this snuggle in the morning and peanut butter stain in the afternoon, is the reason I exist. I am overpowered, devastated by the breathtaking simplicity of it all.

I set out to write this about my husband. I wanted to call to mind some particularly sweet parts of our life together, but I just couldn't seem to pull the right things out of my head. And when the dam finally broke and the little stories of our charmed life together came trickling through, they were all about one thing: My son. My baby. My love and my frustration, my anger and my hope. My constant moment of devastating beauty.

This entry prompted by therealljidol. Get over there and vote at the end of the week!


( {22} — Respond )
(Deleted comment)
Nov. 12th, 2009 04:09 pm (UTC)
Thank you. :)
Nov. 12th, 2009 05:07 am (UTC)
Man, you have some really nice phrases here. I really enjoyed this piece.
Nov. 12th, 2009 04:09 pm (UTC)
Thank you! I tried to make the writing express the beauty of what I was talking about, since not everyone reading this will truly understand unless they have kids.
Nov. 13th, 2009 02:29 pm (UTC)
I almost wrote about my kids too:) They ARE The most beautiful thing in the world to a parent.

I really love when you say:

"We made life" Three words that encompass the most life-changing and amazing thing that can happen.

This is SOOO true:

Every day for me is mundane, routine, frustrating, and completely, utterly beautiful.

It's true. All at the same time. Beautiful AND frustrating. You explained it well.

This line was just perfect:

My love and my frustration, my anger and my hope.

You wrote how I feel about my kids. Thanks so much for sharing this, for finding the words I can't seem to quite say. I really enjoyed this entry!:)
Nov. 13th, 2009 05:24 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! I never expected to feel this way about my kid, to be honest. I babysat so much for my sisters and neighborhood kids that I just didn't think it would too much different - I couldn't have been more wrong. It's an entirely different experience.

Thanks for reading! :)
Nov. 12th, 2009 03:31 pm (UTC)
This was a really sweet entry, very nice!
Nov. 12th, 2009 04:10 pm (UTC)
Aw, thanks.:)
Nov. 12th, 2009 06:55 pm (UTC)
Aw! :)
Nov. 13th, 2009 03:58 am (UTC)
:) Thanks for reading.
Nov. 13th, 2009 06:51 pm (UTC)
Aww- very sweet.
Nov. 13th, 2009 09:54 pm (UTC)
I really liked this... Writing about your kid for a prompt like this is so tough to pull off without being mundane, but you managed it.
Nov. 13th, 2009 11:49 pm (UTC)
Little did you know. -grin- How beautiful. ♥
Nov. 14th, 2009 08:45 pm (UTC)
This is a very sweet entry.
Nov. 15th, 2009 07:43 am (UTC)
Such a sweet entry :)

(And yes, I have too :) )
Nov. 15th, 2009 12:47 pm (UTC)
This is beautiful and so full of love!
Nov. 15th, 2009 03:58 pm (UTC)
Very nice. Such a special depiction of moments that are truly beautiful.
Nov. 15th, 2009 07:11 pm (UTC)
Beautifully written and a wonderful sentiment. Thanks for sharing this with us.
Nov. 15th, 2009 11:55 pm (UTC)
Nov. 16th, 2009 06:16 am (UTC)
A very sweet entry. Thanks for sharing!
Nov. 16th, 2009 05:46 pm (UTC)
Nice! And very easy to relate to! :)
Nov. 17th, 2009 02:25 am (UTC)
Great entry. Very well put.
Nov. 17th, 2009 05:22 pm (UTC)
Nicely written!
( {22} — Respond )

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